For example, describing Diamond getting her hi-tech tattoo and Nick, the FBI agent feeling her up. Then I switched to Nick's view in the van, having him relive HIS feelings and audacity at feeling up the stripper laying before him. Then I described him watching Diamond perform for his fellow FBI agents and his view of watching things from the surveillance equipment. Finally, I went back to Diamond's view dancing for the FBI agents.
I tried not to just repeat, but to give character depth and THEIR own take on matters...but many people did not like it.
The reason I mention it is I'm doing the same thing with Director Jekyll, although hopefully not "rehashing" as much. The story starts out from the husband's telling, but then switches to a more third-person view on his wife's day at work and the set-up of everything that will be happening. After about 40 pages Word format (roughly 6 pages Literotica) I am now describing the events taking place before him from the husband's point of view.
So the question to you, the readers. Does this bother you? Would you prefer reading the stories from more of a third-person view or from one of the character's points of view? And if you read into a story from one perspective, does it get disorientating reading from another's?
The main reason I do so is so as the author, I am not describing things from an omniscient view, but instead, letting you live within a character to understand them more. I could describe how each character felt from a third-person standpoint vs. that person's feelings:
"Heather gasped as she felt the the head of Senor Chacon's cock against her pussy, moaning in lust as he slowly moved forward, the hard shaft separating her labia as he slowly pushed into her core"
versus
"I heard my wife gasp, knowing Senor Chacon's cock had made contact with my wife's body, suddenly that gasp turning into a moan of pleasure as he moved forward, knowing the head of his cock was separating her slit and entering the core of her married pussy"
Obviously both are describing the same scene, but I'd like to think there is more relayed to the reader from the husband's point of view.
But wondering on what everybody thinks. To reiterate, not asking if you like one or the other, but if you are reading in one view, and then that view switches to another character...
I've once again posted a POLL on the site, to get everybody's views. I'm not asking if you like reading a third person story versus a first person story, but more do you mind the change of views.
Again, I refer to Lapdancing 04 for reference, as that was the one story that comes to mind where I attempted it. I can easily go back and change things to completely third perspective, just curious what people think...
sooo I won't tell you I prefer 1st person, ok lol im not saying "I PREFER 1ST PERSON". LOL some switching 1st to 3rd can add to the story, think about the pool party in the annie stories you nailed it there. What I think many people including me found a bit annoying in lapdancing chapter 4 was the feeling that things kept repeating repeating lol. In that chapter I did start to skim through whole sections. And considering that I think you write the best erotica ive ever come across (LOL) it's A bit of a waste.
ReplyDeleteWell, I admit I tried to repeat a few scenes in each of the characters' eyes so you would get a feel for them. In Lapdancing 04, I know I failed...mainly because I did it so closely together.
DeleteIn Annie, it was less about repeating how the other person felt than just switching POV and continuing on with the story, instead of rehashing a previous scene.
As a way to tell the story, I find the switching back and forth from 1 st. to 3 rd. person POV adds to the story, Telling the story from Heathers is the most important but by bringing in the Husbands POV we get a to watched the action from his eyes.
ReplyDeleteI thought you did a good job in the shower sex between Diomand and Chuck with Dan watching on the TV.
Yeah, like I mentioned above, switching POV's doesn't seem to bother people. Where I failed in Lapdancing 04 was rehashing the same scene from each POV. Continuing the story and switching doesn't seem to bother people as much...
DeleteMost stories I know are written in third person, perhaps its easier for the writer. Writing firs person might be a new experience, perhaps its more intense in a way. Maybe you should write a whole story in first person. Changing POV's can be repetitious and I think adds little to the plot. But I fully respect what you choose, you know better then me what to do.
ReplyDeleteFor the most part, switching POV's in a story is a bit 'no-no' in writing. But that is mostly doing it in the middle of a sentence or paragraph.
DeleteIn some cases, switching the POV as you said adds to the story. I think if it's done consciously by a writer, it adds to it a bit better.
My Dreams stories are mostly 1st person stories, although at times the dreamer is unaware it is himself living the dream, instead describing things as he sees them, when in fact, it's really him!
If your switching POV and continuing on with the story then I am completely fine with that.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I think it was the rehashing most people didn't like versus the actual changing POV...
DeleteDoccis: Judging by the number of readers you have commenting positively and the ratings you are getting for each of your stories, I would not worry about your POV writing style. It's your story write it the way you want. I will still enjoy them what ever style you use.
ReplyDeleteOver the past few months your lap story is the only one I have truely enjoyed reading from Literotica
I do write when/how I want, but it always helps knowing what people like so I can steer things that way ;)
DeleteI'd like to think all my stories have a good fan base...not necessarily the same people, but a strong following for each! Although if people like my writing style in general, hope they would like more than one story too, hehehe.
So here are the results of the poll:
ReplyDeleteHate them, prefer one view.
4 (14%)
Don't mind them, give a good perspective on each character.
13 (48%)
Understand the need, but it's too distracting to read.
5 (18%)
Love them, makes me actually feel what characters are feeling.
5 (18%)