The pain of writing...

So I've been getting pretty deep into my Assumptions story this weekend.  I'm up to 70 pages (Word format, about 10 Literotica pages) and still going strong.  In fact, a new twist to the plot came to me and I'm following that little rabbit hole to its end.

I've been so engrossed diving into the story my hand is starting to hurt...and not from typing!  As I always said, if a writer cannot enjoy what he's writing, then how can he write and instill the passion into a story!

The thing is, what I KNOW and what the READER will be reading are somewhat two different things.  I'm not going to give anything away, but as the title says, there are going to be a lot of assumptions, not only by the main protagonist of the story, but by the reader themselves.  In fact, I have thought of an ending that will be epic...and leave some people completely baffled and others pissed off, hehehe.

I am debating on whether this will become a series or not.  Leaving it as a stand-alone version is like reading a story with a big cliff-hanger that never completes...leaving the viewer to imagine their own ending.  Such stories always leave me wondering what the author intended...and never really having the closure I seem to need, hehehe.  That is how this story will end.

I have some ideas on further chapters, but again, not sure if they will add as much emotion to the plot that leaving the first chapter as it is without any sequels.  I've even thought of combining this story with another one--my Extenuating Circumstances story, as the main women in the story have a somewhat similar history, albeit pretty loose (went to college, joined a sorority, may have been a bit of a slut/tease)...but then the plot would turn in a complete 90 degree difference...and I'm pretty happy with how both stories stand alone.  Guess that's my answer, hehehe...now that I read it on "paper."

Anyways, hopefully won't get carpal tunnel syndrome before this story is completed!  ;)

Another small update...

So the good news in terms of you, the readers, is I'm back to writing!  Yup, I just woke up yesterday and my Muse was right there with me...I ended up writing over FIFTEEN pages (Word format, so about 2-3 Literotica pages) to my Assumptions story.  I'm also starting to feel the itch for Diamond to get into some more trouble, so hoping I can get through my Assumptions story soon, as that is still the main focus right now.

I also want to get back to my other stories--Annie, Dreams, Director Jekyll and the like, but that's just too much on my plate right now!

On the job front I'm still waiting to start.  There's a whole butt-load of paperwork that has to be done working for a government job, so I'm simply waiting until the green light is given and I can start working!  It's all smoke and mirrors, as I've worked at this particular place before, but it still has to go through all the red tape.  I'm anxious to be getting a paycheck again!

I'm also itching for the release of The Elder Scrolls Online.  I should warn you now that the last week of March and first couple weeks of April to not expect much in the way of writing from me, LOL...as gaming is one of my other outlets for the creative juices that flow within me.  Once the game settles out I'll be back to a more "sane" schedule where I can balance gaming, writing, 3D Graphics, and all my other hobbies while still maintaining a healthy family life--but for those first few weeks of release, I'm turning into a gaming troll that short of going to work, won't see the light of day!  ;)

But as I said, back to writing, which is a good thing.  In fact, I'm only updating this as a short break to refill my tea and get back to my Assumptions story!

Small update...

Posting mainly to let everybody know I'm still out there, hehehe.  This week my Muse has pretty much been on vacation.  I have worked a little on my 3D Graphics and ended up trashing what I was working on because it just wasn't clicking.  Worked a little on my Assumptions story and again couldn't get into it.  Sort of on autopilot basically.  Even television hasn't really interested me this week, so it's been kind of a meh week.

Hoping my Muse returns and things get back on track...

Update...

So there really isn't much to update.  From my previous post, I was rather disconcerted about some people's attitudes and did not do anything.  Probably the worst thing to do is piss-off/annoy the author, as I was definitely in no mood to write or even work on my graphics.

This weekend I spent the entire time playing The Elder Scrolls beta...and had a blast.  I had no interest in doing anything creative, so basically took some time to myself.

Now that the beta weekend is over, I am feeling ready to give things a try again...so hopefully nobody's going to chew me out over things taking even longer...because that just causes them to go even further.

On the job front I got and accepted the latest job offer...which is substantially more salary than any of the other offers that fell through.  This one is pretty much a done deal, so hopefully once everything goes through HR and such, I could very well be working by the end of the month.  Appreciate all the prayers and kind words during this time...but I need to get back to work, hehehe (never thought I would say that, LOL!).

This is a hobby...

So need to get something off my chest after receiving who knows how many "WTF dude, where's the next chapter" e-mail or comment on Literotica.

This is a hobby.  I write for my own enjoyment, plain and simple.  I do not write for you, I do not write for your significant other.  I do not get paid for writing, so why should I listen to your rantings on wanting another chapter of whatever story you are interested in?  Send me a few hundred bucks and I'll be happy to focus on a chapter of your interest.

When my Muse hits me I write what is currently the most interesting for me.  I fully intend to finish ALL my series:  Annie, Lapdancing, Dreams, Skyrim, Directory Jekyll, and my Grim Fairy Tales.  I also have several stories still waiting to see the light of the day.  Again, whatever hits my fancy is what I focus upon...for MY enjoyment.

I've worked on stories where my heart was not into it and the shoddy work shows.  Some of my lowest scoring stories were ones I felt I HAD to get out due to reader pressure and as a result, I did not put my all in them and they show.

Again, this is a hobby:

an activity or interest pursued for pleasure or relaxation and not as a main occupation

I publish my stories because there is an obvious interest in them; however, I am under no obligation to publish anything I write, nor am I required to do so under your demand.  I am not getting paid for this and the last six months of unemployment, financial issues, and other real life events have not put me in a very good mood to work on hobbies.  It is only in the last month or so I've been starting to feel such burdens lessening that I can spend more time into writing.

I write what I feel like writing.  I am not getting paid to write, I am not getting any compensation other than anonymous e-mails, comments, and postings from people who enjoy or even dislike my work.  I share them as I know others enjoy them and I seem to have a knack for it that pleases other people, but the constant barrage of derogatory comments because I'm not publishing a chapter to YOUR satisfaction is getting annoying.  I keep this blog updated with where I am with stories as much as I can.  If it is not up to your expectations I apologize, but since I don't know you from Adam, I really don't give a fuck what you think.  I'm not forcing you to read my stories and I'm not getting any compensation other than the few appreciative comments and the surplus of "It's been a fucking x year, where's the next chapter?!?!?!?" comments.

So my apologies for those I am not living up to their expectations...but again, this is a HOBBY, not a job, and I am not under contract to you, nor anybody else, to ever publish again, let alone continue any stories I already have published.

/off soapbox

My latest image...

So I believe I figured out all the little nuances of using the lightbox feature on this site with the free image hosting site I'm using...again, if you can NOT see the images below, please let me know either in an e-mail or in the comments section!

I was in the mood for "something different" in terms of graphics, and as I had not used the Aiko model base before, decided to give her a try.  As I mentioned in a previous overview, Aiko is the character model base introduced as an anime-like character.  Her figure has a slightly larger head and eyes, as well as different morphs to satisfy people doing 3D renders that are more anime-like than the other characters.

So I set out to use Aiko.  In trying to decide how to create the character and image, I settled on the Catgirls of anime...and I am pretty happy with the results!  The first image is more in line with a typical anime wallpaper.  The second image I did as a regular portrait with a bit more intense lighting.

Kitten (anime)

Kitten (portrait)

Let me know what you think!

Picture Issues?

EDIT:  I think I fixed the issue...at least the one person who told me they could not see the images is now seeing them, so I believe it is fixed; however, if anybody else has problems, please let me know!

Another update...

Sigh...so why can't life just be easy?  I got a message stating the position I had applied and accepted did not get approved for the higher salary I had negotiated.  What that means is I either take the lower salary job or stay unemployed.  Not much of a decision there, but it also means I'm still interviewing.  The difference is a little under $10,000/year which is below what I was asking, but as I said, it's the difference between getting paid vs. not paid.  Have two interviews lined up this coming week, and waiting to hear from 3 others...right now I'm going to have to weigh in salary along with job enjoyment/satisfaction, comfort-ability, and benefits.

On the story front, still plugging away at my Assumptions story.  I've only worked on it here and there, but it's slowly coming along.  Right now it's holding more interest than Lapdancing, and I know if I can finish this, I'll have more steam to work on Lapdancing, so it is what it is.

Graphically I've been working on several little side projects.  First, I did a little photo-shoot-like group of photos I call "Plum Tired" (I know it's plumb, but it's a play on words with the purple).  I posted more tamer versions on Deviant Art, but here are the more explicit ones.  As the images are somewhat NSFW, I am putting a "Show/Hide" button on them so people don't inadvertently get in trouble!

I didn't do any postwork, was mainly playing around with lighting and posing.  If I work on them any more, it will mainly be to crop them and skew the images more to the right or left...but for now, I'm happy with the way they turned out, but curious to hear what other people thing.

In addition, I decided for this next run of illustrations I'm going to work on mamachuca's story Chloe's Internship.  I know I said I didn't want to do any long stories, but I had read this one a long time ago and enjoyed it--long before I ever corresponded with Mama--and it struck a chord within me.  Not sure how many pictures I'm going to do from the story (as it IS a damn long story, hehehe)...but we'll see.  Maybe I'll just work on each installment bit by bit here and there until I find another story that strikes my fancy.  Just have to see.  For those interested, here is the character Mama selected to play Chloe:

These were just quickie drafts to give Mama an idea of some characters to choose from.  I'll be tweaking her a bit more but thought for now it's a pretty decent model to work with.  This one is off the V4 character base.